Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
