Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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