no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
sarcasm needs its own font
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
