I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
