My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
