We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
