Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
