i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
40s are totally the cure
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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