We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
