we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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