I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
