Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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