the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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