he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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