So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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