Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
