I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
