just tell him i said nine months
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
