i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize