I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
