im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
