1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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