Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
