I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
