Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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