so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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