don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize