My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
