I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
