im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
