is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
