Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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