Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
