He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
