the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
