i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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