none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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