Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize