Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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