he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
