at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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