3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
