apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
