i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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