how hairy? two words: wookie tits
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
