Ketchup is God's man juice
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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