Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
