none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
