I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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