It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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