Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
