oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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