She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
