He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
