Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Where were you when I was single???

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Still in diapers.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.

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(858): View more from California

I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.

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(801): View more from Utah

My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party

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(607): View more from New York

haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.

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(313): View more from Michigan

will a lunchtime blow job make it better?

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