and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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