I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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