wat bout pragnant strippers??
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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