fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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