Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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